I If I Knew Then What I Know Now is a monthly column in Single Parent Magazine. It is written by a single parent that has already raised their child(ren) and would like to share some wisdom, advice, a funny story, a situation that arose and how it was handled or should have been handled. This column allows experienced single parents to tell:
In my 30’s I found myself divorced and raising two young children alone. I was gripped with fear that my children would somehow be penalized by the divorce and not be successful in school or in life. At the time one of my problems was how to select positive role models for my son. I was driven by the desire to make certain that they would be successful despite the parents being divorced.
I had a good job working for a leading Fortune 500 company which allowed me to pay for enrichment activities after school. I attended ALL activities and events that my children participated in including PTA, track and field, basketball, open house, back to school night and parent teacher conferences. I made the decision to be present and an active participant in all their activities so that I could watch them learn and grow. While I watched and often times coached their sporting events, I gained new friends which lessoned the abandonment that I felt from the divorce. I received immense pleasure from watching my children developing their abilities and being the backbone of their support system.
From all of this, my children learned that they could trust at least one person would love them unconditionally. Their self esteem, confidence, academics and lives blossomed as a result. Parents do not underestimate the value the children give to your presence at their activities. It is vital that you watch them practice, see them compete in their games or meets, attend their school functions, meet their teachers and most definitely cheer them on when they receive awards.
-Frances Linzy
Frances Linzy is a single parent that raised two children, Joseph Linzy and Michelle Linzy. Michelle Linzy, 38, is the editorial director of Single Parent Magazine and Joseph Linzy, 41 (former surgical tech).
