I have heard this enduring quote time and time again. It suggests that when life presents obstacles that would otherwise stifle your creativity, spirit or mere existence, combat that challenge head on. Little did writer, producer, Diana Rivera know that the words once uttered by Joan Collins would be a mantra for her day to day survival as a single parent.

Fourteen years -“four of which were longer than needed”- Rivera stayed in a relationship that was seemingly unhealthy. Shockingly, her ex-husband had an adulterous affair. To add insult to injury, she was pregnant at the time. She masked her emotions and made excuses for that which she knew was inevitably true-the marriage was over. “What will I tell my boys…how will they react…what will our friends and family say?”- All minimal questions that frequent the mind when making such a life-altering decision. Rivera soon realized that the best decision she could make for sons, Zane, 12, and Aidan, 9, is to have them in a safe and nurturing environment.

She also knew that she had the daunting task of demonstrating to her sons that though their parents were now in different places, the love they had for them was omnipresent. Rivera has made it a personal goal to involve her sons’ father in every aspect of their lives. “For the most part, we have a great working relationship. Though he knows that reconciliation is not an option, he is aware that in creating them together, we make decisions together. The kids both miss and adore their dad, but they are true ‘mama’s boys’ at heart.”

All were greatly affected by this separation. Rivera had to balance this new life of decision making, academic provisions, and financial obligations in a state of solitude. “I have been on an emotional roller coaster. My self-esteem was shot after the marriage. My doctor and friends even suggested that I get on some medication to help relieve the pain and the stress. I chose not to and fought the battle myself. I was recluse and buried myself in my work and my boys.” On top of the boys suffering emotionally, they were affected academically as well. Rivera’s sons, both in gifted education, originally attended one of the finest schools in Chicago ( The University of Chicago Laboratory School- same school as President Obama’s daughters) and were then forced, due to financial difficulties, to attend public school. “Though I have nothing against public education, it [education] just happened to be the one area that I was not willing to compromise due to my personal situation.”

Another major concern for Rivera was making sure that her sons were well-rounded young men that were aware of their heritage- both heritages. The boys’ father is African American. “Being a product of a Bi-racial (Puerto Rican and Caucasian) heritage myself, I can recall some childhood experiences that constantly plagued me. I remember not quite fitting in. I would make up a last name just to deny my heritage.” Rivera knew that she had to do something to ensure that her boys did not have to feel a cultural void. “I rely a lot on my ex-husband’s family. I believe that family is the best way to keep them connected to their heritage. I also get my sons books that highlight events and people in their culture. So far, I believe it has been effective.”

Though Rivera has committed most of her life to providing meaningful experiences to her sons, she has not succumbed to deferring her dreams. “My goal is to one day create a television show that makes the major networks or cable.” She is also working on her alpha autobiographical book entitled, Memoirs of an Urban Princess Wannabee. Boasting an impressive resume from producer of the Jerry Springer show (1994), to producing commercials and now the producer on the Judge Jeanine Pirro Show, this mother still makes time for her boys. “I worked at the Jerry Springer Show until my oldest son was born. I then quit television and started selling real-estate in 1997.” Recently, Rivera decided to reconnect with the business and continue producing. “When in season, I work 65 to 70 hours a week. My grandmother, who was significant in helping take care of my boys, passed away last year.

Currently, my friend since the 6th grade watches the boys for me. They have always been received well at the office. They just bring their homework, hang out and socialize at the office on the weekends.” And while this virtuoso dabbles in everything from writing, producing, mentoring and mothering, she manages to find time do a little dating. “I went into a relationship immediately after my separation.” It worked for a while, and then it fizzled. “The boys weren’t receptive to him. The youngest said, ‘he didn’t smile enough.’ Rivera, after a stint of internal dating and reconnecting with past fames, concluded that she was constantly with men that were needy. “I need a self-sufficient man that is totally independent.” Currently, Rivera is in a relationship. “This relationship seems right; everything is going well,” says Rivera.

“If life throws you lemons,
make lemonade …”
- Joan Collins

Though Diana Rivera never thought she would be a single parent, she has truly learned from her experiences. “I have had a very challenging life. That’s why writing this book is so important to me. I want to share my experiences with others; so that they may know that there are options in life…there is a way out.” When asked to select the one word that would describe her state of being, Rivera’s says, “…strength… Being a single parent made me take a look at myself and become introspective. Everything was two plus the kids. Now it’s just the kids and me, and I’m okay with that.” When life throws you lemons you lemons, you make lemonade. But in Rivera’s case, success is sweeter.

-Nikki Toombs