Sierra Linzy

Hometown: (city), California, now lives in Georgia

Age: 15

Bragging Rights: President of (Northpark Elementary School 2005-2006) in California, Girl Scout, track star and model for Elite Modeling Agency

Celebrity idol: Tyra Banks

Future Plans: “I want to travel around the world, or at least the United States.”

Milan Linzy

Hometown: (city), California, now lives in Georgia

Age: 11

Bragging Rights: Starred in Kraft Singles, Mervyn’s, HEB, and Mutual of Omaha commercials, modeled for Disney catalogue and models for Elite Modeling Agency

“They may not be tall enough
to ride the biggest rollercoaster
or old enough to drive, but they
are taking the world by storm.
There may be only one parent,
but these children haven’t
taken notice.
They are excelling in all areas,
proving that one strong parent
can make a difference.”

Celebrity idol: Alicia Keys

Family ties: “Family is very important. If someone gets hurt, you have more family to go to.”

They may not be tall enough to ride the biggest roller coaster or old enough to drive, but they are taking the world by storm. There may be only one parent, but these children haven’t taken notice. They are excelling in all areas, proving that one strong parent can make a difference.

How would you describe yourself?

Sierra: Social and energetic

Milan: Unselfish, pretty…a boy at school tells me that I am

Your girls just moved from California to Atlanta, how are you adjusting?

Sierra: It’s fun. It’s definitely colder, but everyone here is so friendly. At school, they think it’s cool. They ask me a lot of questions about California.

Milan: Georgia is different. In the libraries, you can eat, and you are allowed to wear sandals. I have nine friends and a guy that likes me.

I know both of you girls model and act. What are you thinking when you’re walking down the runway?

Sierra: Trying not to fall. I try to pay attention to what I’m doing. And TV commercials?

Milan: I get very nervous. I just look around and think of something. Usually my mom, my sister and my family.

Sierra, you were co-president of your school in California. Was it difficult to make decisions for your peers?

Sierra: My partner and I got in a lot of fights at first, but then I got used to him. We learned to work with each other to get what needed to be accomplished done.

What do you aspire to be when you grow up?

Sierra: I haven’t decided yet. A lawyer, a marine biologist or a teacher. When we travel, I always find new careers I’m interested in. We went to sea world and saw the dolphins, and I thought it would be cool to be a marine biologist.

Milan: A dance and sing star. A star.

Do you and your mom get a chance to hang out?

Sierra: Yes, we like to go shopping. Mom is also my shot put coach for track.

Milan: She’s my favorite. We watch play card games, we sing together, dance together, and sometimes we run together. I tell her jokes like ‘why didn’t the skeleton go to the party,’ ‘because he had no body’ (giggles).

Is it ever hard for her to come to both of your events?

Sierra: She’s always there. When I get an award, she’s there. When I run a race, she’s there.

Milan: She never misses anything of mine or sissy’s.

Does she give you any advice?

Sierra: Just to be yourself.

Milan: Not to smoke, it will make us look old before our time.

Anything else?

Milan: To get up and try again.

Do you want to have kids one day?

Milan: Yes. I’m going to treat my kids just like my mom does.

Sierra and Milan are managed by:

Sharyn Talent Management, Encino, CA

Theatrical: Acme Talent Agency, Los Angeles, CA

Commercial: JLA Talent, West Hollywood, CA

Print/Modeling: Elite Lifestyle, Atlanta, GA

MSM Linzy’s Adventures in Travel is a monthly column in Single Parent Magazine (SPM). Michelle Linzy (SPM’s editorial Director and owner), Sierra (her oldest daughter), and Milan (her youngest daughter), will travel to different places in the world and give single parents the important information they need to make informed decisions about their future travel plans.  Their goal is to provide our followers with single parent, family-friendly vacations. Michelle: Las Vegas has always had the nickname “Sin City,” and most people think that Las Vegas is really not a good choice when choosing places to take their children. I disagree. Las Vegas has changed a lot since my father took my brother and me years ago. Gone are the days of the 99 cents, all-you-can-eat-buffets. They have been replaced with high priced buffets that can make your wallet so light that you feel as though you have been a victim of a professional pickpocket, with the only difference being that you actually handed the pickpocket the wallet and told them that they had permission to rob you. Fortunately, there are ways to get around this.

The airport is very close to the Las Vegas Strip, and we usually take a van taxi to our hotel. The girls and I always rent a car, but not from the airport. Renting a car from the airport is usually more expensive, that’s why I always bring my laptop with me so I can have the ability to make cheaper online reservations for just about anything we need including car rental. Most hotels have wireless internet that you have access to with the password the hotel will give you. After you get your rental car, you have a whole new Las Vegas to experience, beginning with the Las Vegas library. The library is farther south down Las Vegas Boulevard and they do let people from out of town have a library card. The girls and I have been known to spend hours there playing on the computers, listening to story telling, reading and the best thing ever… renting movies. That was completely unexpected, but it allowed us to watch movies on the laptop anytime we wanted. Also, at the library, you can get lots of information on where things are located from the librarians and the people using the library.

Farther south of the Las Vegas strip are average-priced restaurants like Chili’s, Outback etc. There are a variety of food places including Subway, Starbucks (reasonably priced) and anything else you can think of to eat at normal everyday prices. Also, there are grocery stores for any items that you may have forgotten. These same items can be anywhere from three to four times more expensive in the hotel gift shops. Souvenirs can also be purchased for a reasonable price from these stores as well.

If you love shopping or just want to browse, there is a huge mall south of the Las Vegas Strip and it has every store you would find in any other major mall.

One of our favorite hotels, which is very far south of the Las Vegas Strip, is called South Point Hotel and Spa. South Point Hotel and Spa is a relatively new hotel, but an absolute must if you are looking for some serious family fun. This hotel has a 64-lane bowling center with state of the art equipment and a huge bingo hall with individual computer systems/laptops that will keep track of your uploaded Bingo packet. There is a 16-screen movie theatre complex, a 400-seat showroom, equestrian center, casino and spa.

Further north along the Las Vegas Strip, you will find numerous hotels. Circus Circus is a hotel that has a casino on the bottom floor. It also has an arcade, carnival games and circus acts every half hour. The majority of hotels have themes, for example, Luxor is a hotel where everything is designed to look Egyptian. Excalibur has a medieval theme, Caesars Place looks like a Roman Coliseum, and the Paris hotel has a French interior with the Eiffel tower on the outside. You can walk down the Las Vegas Strip and experience all the different hotels and get a good workout without realizing it. Lots of hotels have amusements parks or arcades and there is a variety of things to do that will fit every budget.

Depending on how much time you have, you can always go to a timeshare presentation. They say it takes about two hours, but that is not usually accurate unless you have a plan set in motion before you sign up. Timeshare presentations will usually feed you and your little ones, but be aware that they will not begin until you and your kids finish eating. After the timeshare presentations you are usually offered “gifts” at the end of the presentation, which can help with your budget. We have been given a four day three night stay at Excalibur and a vacation we could use at a later date (we ended up going on a cruise and stayed at a really nice hotel in Ft. Lauderdale for our summer vacation.) Fun hint: take the kids, because it is easier to make the presentation shorter when the kids are misbehaving. Also, realize that they will try to pressure you into purchasing and the price seems to go down the more you refuse. Just remember, it is their job to make you feel like you are the worst parent in the world for not purchasing this for the children and their children in the future, but it is your decision and after three hours, you have definitely earned the “gift(s)”.

Las Vegas can be so much fun and there are a variety of things to do for everyone. Don’t forget to go to the M&M and the Coca-Cola store. Viva Las Vegas! Don’t forget that what happens in Vegas…

Bon Voyage!

Michelle, Sierra and Milan Linzy

I If I Knew Then What I Know Now is a monthly column in Single Parent Magazine. It is written by a single parent that has already raised their child(ren) and would like to share some wisdom, advice, a funny story, a situation that arose and how it was handled or should have been handled. This column allows experienced single parents to tell:

In my 30’s I found myself divorced and raising two young children alone. I was gripped with fear that my children would somehow be penalized by the divorce and not be successful in school or in life. At the time one of my problems was how to select positive role models for my son. I was driven by the desire to make certain that they would be successful despite the parents being divorced.

I had a good job working for a leading Fortune 500 company which allowed me to pay for enrichment activities after school. I attended ALL activities and events that my children participated in including PTA, track and field, basketball, open house, back to school night and parent teacher conferences. I made the decision to be present and an active participant in all their activities so that I could watch them learn and grow. While I watched and often times coached their sporting events, I gained new friends which lessoned the abandonment that I felt from the divorce. I received immense pleasure from watching my children developing their abilities and being the backbone of their support system.

From all of this, my children learned that they could trust at least one person would love them unconditionally. Their self esteem, confidence, academics and lives blossomed as a result. Parents do not underestimate the value the children give to your presence at their activities. It is vital that you watch them practice, see them compete in their games or meets, attend their school functions, meet their teachers and most definitely cheer them on when they receive awards.

-Frances Linzy

Frances Linzy is a single parent that raised two children, Joseph Linzy and Michelle Linzy. Michelle Linzy, 38, is the editorial director of Single Parent Magazine and Joseph Linzy, 41 (former surgical tech).

by Jessica Levine

In the beginning of a relationship, there is excitement and enchantment. That certainly was the case for Yvette Cade, who told her story on The Oprah Winfrey Show. When she first met Roger Hargrave, she said he was seemed very loving and caring. Shortly after they married, Hargrave became verbally abusive. It wasn’t long before his insults led to physical abuse. Yvette worked up the courage to separate from Hargrave but that didn’t end the abuse. “I felt like a prisoner in my own home,” she told Oprah during the episode that originally aired May 3, 2006. Yvette took out a protective order against Hargrave in July 2005, but a judge lifted the order at Hargrave’s insistence that the couple would go to marriage counseling.

Three weeks later, Hargrave showed up at Yvette’s work, doused her in gasoline and lit her on fire. She survived but suffered extensive burns that partially immobilized her.

Unfortunately, Yvette’s experience is not an isolated incident. Domestic violence is a widespread problem.

One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

“Domestic Violence is when one person in a relationship engages in systematic efforts to gain control of the other person in a relationship through the use of physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse or coercive control,” said Joan Prittie, executive director of Project Safe, a non-profit organization aimed at helping women and children in North and Central Georgia. It is about having power and control over another person. It most often occurs in a romantic relationship but it can also occur between a parent and a child, between siblings or other family members.

A common misconception is that domestic violence is about the physical abuse rather than the dynamics of power and control. It can be hard to understand that the abuser is not hitting his partner just to hit her as much as he’s doing it to control her, said Carol Anne Schmitt, assistant direct of Project Safe. “In some abusive relationships, violence only occurs once because one time is all it takes to control that person,” she said. “Sometimes just the threat of violence is good enough to keep someone compliant.”

“One in four women
will experience
domestic violence
in her lifetime”

Another misconception about domestic violence is that it happens to certain types of people. Low-income and un-educated individuals are often incorrectly stereotyped as the main victims.“Domestic violence touches all spectra of the population, every socioeconomic strata,” Prittie said. “It touches those who are religious, those who are not, those who are young and old, black, white, Hispanic.” “We might be more aware of it among poor folks who might be more involved in social services or in poverty stricken areas where walls are thinner and neighbors are more likely to hear things and call 911,” she said. “But it happens across the board.”

However, being a woman is one factor that does increase an individual’s risk of abuse. Women are the victims of domestic violence 85 percent as compared to men, according to the NCADV. Although the statistics are staggering, many cases often go unreported because domestic violence is still regarded as a somewhat taboo subject. “People often don’t realize that it’s going on in relationships around them,” Schmitt said. “Often times it is hard to recognize, because it occurs in intimate relationships that are close and private. Most people don’t talk open and freely about what’s going on in their bedrooms.” There has been a lot of shame around domestic violence for years, and it can be hard to talk about with family and friends. “Nobody gets into a relationship thinking this person will hurt them in any way,” Schmitt said. “You get into a relationship with a lot of hope, and it is sometimes hard to tell friends and family that the guy you told them was great in the beginning is hurting you now.”

Women tend to blame themselves in abusive relationships. “Initially, they blame themselves for what’s happening,” Prittie said. “Then even if they realize that it’s not their fault, they blame themselves because they didn’t see it coming and for getting in to that situation.” Marriage counseling is often suggested to help couples work through problems. That is not the case in abusive relationships. “In couples counseling, there has to be equality between the partners, a sense of fairness and openness so that each partner can express themselves,” Prittie said. “When an abuser breaks down the victim into submission, you simply can’t do that.”

An abuser is capable of change, but once the precedent of violence is set in the relationship it is hard to undue that damage. “With an abusive person, the problem is not changing the behavior, it’s finding the motivation for them to want to change,” Prittie said. Abusers want power and control and using abuse is a very efficient way to get it. The question is how do you make the abuser want to find the thing that makes them want to change.”

Although couples counseling is not usually an option, there are several important steps a victim can take when she realizes that she is in an abusive relationship. “First, know that you’re not alone, that it happens to a lot of folks,” Prittie said. “Then contact your local hotline to talk to somebody about options, resources and to do some safety planning. Third, understand that it can be difficult to extricate yourself from the abuser and that it may take some time and the process may move slowly. Don’t be ashamed. Take advantage of local resources such as family and friends.”

Although most relationships tend to look the same in the beginning, there are warning signs to look for to determine whether you are potentially in an abusive one. Being isolated from friends and family by your partner should be a concern. “We have been socialized to often think of it as being romantic if your partner wants to spend all of his time with you, but if that becomes a constant situation then it’s a problem,” Schmitt said. If the victim becomes the abuser’s central focus, that is a concern. Constant questioning of all of the victim’s behaviors is a sign. “Many times women will just think that he is asking a lot of questions because he is really interested in what she did, but it is because he wants to be in charge of what’s happening,” Schmitt said. “Be aware if things are getting really serious really quickly or if he is committing very quickly.”

Also, be cautious of jealous or possessive behaviors and verbal abuse or threats to harm you, your family or your pets. One of the most effective tools in reducing domestic violence cases is education. While domestic violence is an age-old problem, it has only recently been discussed in the mainstream. The more light that is shed on this topic will hopefully decrease the number of women who suffer like Yvette Cade and the countless other nameless victims of domestic violence.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS

• 85-95% of all domestic violence victims are female.
• Over 500,00 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year.
• 5.3 million women are abused each year.
• 1,232 women are killed each year by an intimate partner.
• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women.
• Women are more likely to be attacked by someone they know rather than by a stranger.

Source: www.aidv-usa.com

For more information and to get help visit or contact the following resources:

• www.ncadv.org: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

• www.jenesse.org

• www.ndvh.org: National Domestic Violence hotline/website

Wintertime brings more than crackling fires to warm the house and Frosty. The cold brings sniffles, sneezes, sore throats and illnesses that put a damper on the new season. Children, with immune systems that aren’t as developed as adults, are particularly susceptible to the mass amounts of germs floating around that cause the flu and colds and other medical problems.“One of the things parents need to understand is that your average healthy child can have as many as six colds per year,” said Dr. Vivian Lennon, the medical director of the primary care center at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.

“It’s not unusual for a child in preschool to get sick several times.” Even though there is no way to ensure your child won’t get sick, there are several practical steps you can take to lessen his or her chances. Kidshealth.org, a website providing doctor-approved health information for children, suggests that perhaps the best defense against the common cold and many other infectious diseases is to wash their hands. Though this act should be practiced year-round, it is especially important in the winter when germs are spread more easily because of dry indoor air and more people walking around with colds. “We like to teach children to cover their mouth,” Dr. Lennon said. “I like to have them sneeze in their arm.

“Even though there is no way
to ensure your child won’t
get sick, there are several
practical steps you can take
to lessen his or her chances.”

Children also should be reminded not to touch their eyes, nose or mouth. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that some viruses can live from 20 minutes to two hours on surfaces. For a child often in contact with surfaces like cafeteria tables and desks that are a breeding ground for these viruses, it is especially important to enforce this habit. Get plenty of rest and fluids. Though children need different amounts of sleep (a preschooler should sleep 10-12 hours a day while a teen needs about 8.5 hours), getting a proper night’s sleep is essential to building a strong immune system. Since our bodies are two-thirds water, it is important to get enough fluids, as well, to avoid dehydration and a weakening of the immune system.

Flu shots can be a good option for children as well. The CDC provides a list of guidelines for which children should be vaccinated. Unfortunately, all the prevention in the world won’t prevent a child from ever getting sick, so it is just as important to know what to do when your child does get sick.

Children often exhibit different symptoms than adults when they become ill, so it is important to watch for certain signs. One of the most important is a fever. If a child’s fever goes above 102 degrees or lasts for more than three days, a call or trip to the doctor’s office is important to determine that the child doesn’t have something more serious than the common cold. If a child does have a fever, it is important to keep him or her home from school so they will not spread their illness to other children.

“One of the first things I like
families to know is any time
they are concerned about
their child they should call
their pediatrician if they
have any questions”

Dr. Lennon said. Over-the-counter medications are a good way to alleviate symptoms of the common cold—as long as they are made especially for children—but if symptoms persist and/or worsen, check with a doctor. When a child gets sick, it is even more important that they get adequate sleep and fluids to help them overcome their illness. An electrolyte drink such as Gatorade is good to replace nutrients in a child not eating a normal diet, but these drinks shouldn’t replace more than half of the fluids the child is drinking.

Take precautions this winter to help keep your kids healthy, watch them closely and consult a doctor if they do become ill. Small steps.

“Even though there is no way to ensure your child won’t get sick, there are several practical steps you can take to lessen his or her chances.”

Fauna Hodel

Fauna Hodel is the author of the autobiographical novel, One Day She’ll Darken (with J. R. Briamonte), Executive Producer of the film, Pretty Hattie’s Baby, directed by Ivan Passer, starring Alfre Woodard, Charles Dutton, Alison Elliot, Bobby Hosea, Jill Clayburg and Tess Harper. Fauna Hodel wrote and produced the theatrical presentation: Working the Dream: The Fauna Hodel Story. She was also an instrumental piece to a twenty-year puzzle that helped to solve (unofficially) the Black Dahlia case (the murder of Elizabeth Short), and is the subject of a documentary film to be directed by David Hughes. Fauna Hodel is Single Parent Magazine’s Celebrity/VIP of the month.

Michelle: Fauna, you mention using the “gift” of pain to move forward and inspire other people. Most people have a hard time seeing pain as a gift. As you raise your daughters, how do you explain how pain can become a gift to your daughters, Yvette and Rasha?

Fauna: Pain becomes a gift because through that pain you gather wisdom. Pain in life can be the offspring of bad choices. Those bad choices allow you to grow and mature. You cannot beat yourself up but rather use the information learned to make better choices when a similar situation occurs. Pain from a previous bad choice makes you stronger and provides a deterrent to making the same bad choice in the future.

Michelle: Watching our children in any form of pain is absolutely heartbreaking because protecting our children from harm is in our nature. As a mother, how do you find balance between protecting your children and letting them, “leave the nest?”

Fauna: Because of my past, protecting my kids was a big priority for me. However, as children get older you cannot force your child out of the painful situation. I spend time talking and encouraging my daughters to make better choices by reminding them of the painful experience they had in the past. I do believe my daughters have also learned from my mistakes as well.

Michelle: What is your biggest accomplishment? What are you most proud of in your life?

Fauna: My biggest accomplishments are my daughters, Yvette and Rasha. They are amazing, beautiful women and continue to be and I am so proud of them.

Michelle: Tell us about your daughters, Yvette and Rasha.

Fauna: Yvette is my firstborn daughter. I had her when I was fifteen, a few days before my 16th birthday. I had Rasha 11 years later. Yvette is more reserved and calm. She has a quiet strength about her. She mothered her baby sister and helped me take of her. Yvette and I loved Rasha so much and due to the age difference, there was no sibling rivalry because we both wanted to make everything special for Rasha.

Rasha loves and respects her older sister. They have a very close relationship which continues into the present. Rasha stands up for other people’s rights. She is outspoken when it comes to others being treated unfairly. She is in the process of completing her book, every BODY is beautiful. Both of my girls are deep, strong women. They are beautiful people, both inside and out!

Michelle: What are some of the important lessons you taught your daughters?

Fauna: I believe my daughters learned from my mistakes.  I raised them to be good people. Because I was so abused as a child, I learned how to just “get through things” and continue to move forward. I believe that there is a reason for all things. I realized that not moving forward from painful circumstances, made my mother drink heavily. She became an alcoholic because of pain and there was a big difference in her personality when she was drinking and when she was sober.

Michelle: You have been through so much in your life and yet you are such a positive, loving woman. Where does that internal peace and love come from?

Fauna: Over the years I began healing and through that process I became drawn to spiritual people and they became drawn to me as well. Their friendships are what help me to continue to be at peace.

Michelle: What is THE most important lesson you wanted your daughters’ to receive from you?

Fauna: The most essential lesson I taught Yvette and Rasha is the importance of prayer and spirituality. Faith is vital to everyday living and there is a divine force looking over us. If nothing else in this world is real…know that that is!